Food for Script

by CrispyPhoenix

Ugh! Finding out who your friends ARE NOT is always such a special treat. However painful, they can turn out to be fodder for the best damn script you ever wrote.

I informed a “friend” (say that word delicately) last night about my plans to resurrect my career in Hollywood in a couple of months and you’d have thought I said I was going to take up pushing crack to the preschool crowd.

“You’re gonna what? Beeee… a… writer?” She says this sentence like she just got a whiff of some seriously bad baby shit.



My affirmation was her cue to no longer take me seriously. Her silence was my acknowledgement that she’s a bitch of bionic proportions.

Don’t get me wrong… I never expected everyone to be onboard with my desire to return to LA, but I never cared about the haters until last night as I sat on the phone, openly judged by someone I once respected. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t hurt.

Because it did.

A slap here, a hard pinch there.

And then her boredom exhibited via yawning and talking intently with her children while I divulged my dream to her felt not unlike being tossed down the hill altogether.

What I’m proud of is that I sat there listening and never once uttered a retort. Now, that doesn’t mean there weren’t a few choice expletives whizzing through the frontal cortex, but I never lost my cool. Her intent was to hurt me, to shut me down, and I could hear it in her voice, in her words…

fail, silly idea, hope you don’t…

all wrapped up in an overall cloak of disdain.

If you’re thinking of doing this thing that I’m doing… dropping everything, your life as you know it right now, and moving out west where youth is overrated but you continue to cling tightly to your own, and take up an artistic but potentially lucrative career such as writing like the other kajillion and fifty dreamers in LA, then expect to be discouraged. Not only in finding a job, but in rewiring your support network. Expect to be talked over, run over, even ridiculed.

Some people can’t handle it. They feel safe and smug in their boxes of complacency. They live behind a guise of friendship all the while eating guilt for breakfast. They pass judgment out of fear. Unfortunately, they are sometimes the people that are closest to you; the ones you respect, you love, you care for.

They are also the ones you envision yourself telling to fuck off when you walk up on stage to receive your award.

“I’d like to thank the Academy and also McFuckity Bitchness. If she wasn’t such a total dicklick, I never would have known how to develop such a mean and wretched villain. It’s just how you always acted, sweetheart. It’s all about you.”

You can punch up the jokes just enough for James Franco to laugh his gorgeous ass off and want to make out with you as he gives you your gold statuette and follows you offstage.

Don’t these people get it? You’re a writer! All their misdeeds are going to show up somewhere in your stories no matter how hard you try to avoid it.

And not to play it all poor sad clown… there are actually heaping loads of peeps standing in my favor. Hence the reason for the blog. You can all get your updates at the same time.

And too bad for the newbie villain-ess… She just lost the most awesome friend she’ll ever have.

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